I think back on all the things I did (do) to myself and it could almost make me laugh. It's like I was so depressed about nothing and now I'm feeling better I can see how ridiculous it must have seemed. I thought it was ridiculous even at the time. It was just how I felt. Yeah- I still get little episodes, yeah- I have cut recently (I know, I should have said something) but no- none of it feels anything like what it did. I can hardly remember what it was like.

Maybe it was a seasonal thing. idk -maybe it was the stress from school. I wonder if it'll come back this year, stronger than before. Maybe I'll just know how to deal with it this year. I hope I don't keep fucking up this year, all I'm doing is making it harder to let anybody else in, if this is the damage I can do to myself, imagine what somebody else could do!