Monday, September 6, 2010
I don't really want to cut anymore, I generally eat normally. But I haven't become any happier or managed some recovery of normality; I just can't be bothered- wasting energy on hurting myself and time on thinking about how much weight I'm gaining. I've not come to accept that I'm beautiful- just that I will never be beautiful. I've not come to accept that somebody will love me for who I am- I've just given up hope. I can't be let down when I don't have any expectations to begin with.
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It doesnt seem like your getting better but you are. Your gaining beauty not weight. One day you will notice. YOUR the picture perfect girl. The one that should me a model instead of the people who are. You never do completely give up hope. I once thought I gave up hope. I never did. You shouldnt give up hope anyways. Good things will happen I know it doesnt seem that way but its true.
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