I don't really want to cut anymore, I generally eat normally. But I haven't become any happier or managed some recovery of normality; I just can't be bothered- wasting energy on hurting myself and time on thinking about how much weight I'm gaining. I've not come to accept that I'm beautiful- just that I will never be beautiful. I've not come to accept that somebody will love me for who I am- I've just given up hope. I can't be let down when I don't have any expectations to begin with.
It doesnt seem like your getting better but you are. Your gaining beauty not weight. One day you will notice. YOUR the picture perfect girl. The one that should me a model instead of the people who are. You never do completely give up hope. I once thought I gave up hope. I never did. You shouldnt give up hope anyways. Good things will happen I know it doesnt seem that way but its true.
ReplyDelete