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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Have you ever questioned your sexuality?

Like, I haven't before. But lately- other than craving some form of intimacy- I've been admiring not just male looks and traits - but girls as well. You know how you get these little ideas about what your life will look like in twenty years? I can see me with men and women. I can see such closeness and love between both sexes and it's so confusing. I've never had these feelings before. I can't tell anymore, if it's just like I wish I looked like that. or if it's more. I really hope it isn't. I mean, I'm ok with gay people and everything but I don't know what I'd do if that was me. I couldn't tell anybody. Shelley would hate me. My family would hate me. My friends would think I'm just attention seeking and would start telling everyone behind my back.

I couldn't handle it. I really hope this is a phase.

And I can't tell if it's me. If I'm doing this to myself. You remember how I didn't think I deserved to be happy? I don't even know if I can do this to myself. I've been really good lately, but this is throwing me off.

1 comment:

  1. Honestly I have, But Ive only questioned if I was BI.. I do look at other girls but then I picture myself with them and then im like "ew, no I'd rather have a boy." I do except gay's and everything. I have no choice my sisters gay.

    But I dont think I myself could be gay. I like guys to much. Well I like my boyfriend to much (and his little friend if you get what im saying.)

    I get those little ideas too except I see myself whore-like having three-sums with another girl and whatever boyfriend I have at the time.. Hopefully it will be the one I have now but anywho. I havent told anyone this I trust you with knowing this hoping you wont judge me for this.

    I honestly dont get whats wrong with being Gay, Or BI, or Lesbian. I mean in all we are the same. We all want love in both ways. We want to give love. Its not like Gays, Bisexuals, and lesbians will go after straight people.

    Does Shelley not accept gays or something, and your family? Your not attention seeking your just confused a little about your sexuality.

    I also can help but think, It probably is a phase. I mean teens today are going for both girls and guys. But later in life are realizing what they truly love. For your sake I hope its a phase. Your friends and family sound really cruel when it comes to that.

    Ill always be there no matter what sexuality you have. Because thats what Im supposed to be doing. Helping you through anything

    P.S. Sorry its so long and my thoughts are so randomly placed tired

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