I feel fine. And I hate it.

It's like being in a limbo, and I know something's either going to go really wrong or really right, and I can only imagine it going wrong. Now I'm just waiting for that to happen, I'm waiting for something to set me off and break my promises to myself. I'm not used to feeling fine anymore and I can't handle it. I don't want to be waiting for something or someone to come along and do something or say something mean that's going to make me sad again. And I don't know how to deal with the possibility that that might not happen.